whatever we felt was left in the past being real but not existing weighing down but not existing slicing my heart but not existing pulsating with life but not existing you don’t exist you aren’t real yet you love me still like when you were yet I love you still like when you were yet… Continue reading untitled
Tag: Personal
Late nights
Aren’t repressed feelings kinda funny? Funny in that heart wrenching way that makes you laugh at how painfully ironic life is. Ah my dear feelings, the ones I spent years trying to acknowledge so I wouldn’t fall prey to the symptoms of your mind trying to protect you. They always come back to explode in… Continue reading Late nights
Frozen memories
It’s funny how pictures work isn’t it? You freeze a moment in time, with all it brought you. The feelings, they all stay there, in that moment. And then you start to forget. All of it. It starts to slip your mind, slowly. One day you wake up and you don’t even realize you’ve long… Continue reading Frozen memories
Stormy horizon
there was once a time when you offered your soul once upon a time you gave me your all and it was beautiful it was gorgeous and true like the silence before the storm I was strong and confident and I abandoned my norm you better believe I gave it my all but the storm… Continue reading Stormy horizon
My search, pt. 7
I did the only thing I could do. I started walking on the beach. It had to lead somewhere, right? I must have walked for months. I would sleep on the beach, I figured I would bury myself in the warm sand a little bit, to escape the cold, but it never came for me.… Continue reading My search, pt. 7
Trampled
It’s like a roller coaster isn’t it? It’s fine one day. Everything seems, good. Nothing to be afraid of. And then, suddenly, it isn’t. From out of nowhere, it tramples you down like a hundred thousand people running towards happiness. And you’re left there, laying on the ground, everything broken. And it seems for a… Continue reading Trampled
Trying is enough
So, I wanted to tell you a little about the last couple of weeks and why I haven't been posting my usual three to four posts a day. First of all, I've been moving a lot. My suitcase hasn't had much of a break. I guess this was kind of a taste of how living… Continue reading Trying is enough
Fear of the new
I've always wanted to travel alone, it's been a dream of mine since forever. I have never even though I've always wanted to, but to be honest, I'm scared. The world is a dangerous place for a women travelling alone, and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle the safety issue. I haven't really… Continue reading Fear of the new
strange, stranger
such a strange thing, the human mind when we love, we push away when hurt, we run towards the pain such a silly thing, our hearts why do we do this? could we even stop? such a strange, silly thing us humans tiny and weak, no sense, no more
the one, the sea
always wearing shades of blue forever singing lullabies to me the only one who's ever lasted the one and only unconditional your children's songs, so calming your mother's wrath, so powerful we shall all fear and respect your beating heart, so beautiful so much brightness, you shine it blinds and mesmerizes us so much strength,… Continue reading the one, the sea
Duro
as hard as life is I want to live it as tough as steele I want to break it no matter how I want to fly it
Wake up
your arms around me the softness of your skin the deep state we are in i missed it all too bad it's for now too bad it can't last because this is what I want it's sad it can't be mine
Forgiveness
I'm used to forgiving. It doesn't come hard to me. I never hold grudges, I like letting go. I forgave everything you did, on the spot. It hardly took much effort, making me forgive you. And in all that forgiveness I threw around, carelessly, like nothing mattered. I forgot to forgive myself. For every excuse… Continue reading Forgiveness
Tried
Have you ever tried to breathe, when everything is falling apart? You forget. Have you ever tried to think, when all your thoughts are screaming? You can't. Have you ever tried to move on, when all you want to do is go back? You fail. Life is tough, it shows no mercy, when it's time… Continue reading Tried
Next chapter
First all I'd like to say thank you to everyone who reads me, I never imagined so many people would like what I write, and it really feels amazing! Secondly, I just wanted to say that I'm working on a longer piece, trying to put a story together that is going to be a bit… Continue reading Next chapter
20/11/2020
Today was the first day that I was too busy to post anything. Which I hardly think is a bad thing, considering everything. I recently had to make the hardest choice of my life, putting my mental health before the person I love the most in the world. As most of you can tell just… Continue reading 20/11/2020
Decision
I couldn't bare it. I wasn't strong enough. I wish I was. I couldn't stand the idea of waiting until we grew sick of each other. I couldn't do that to us. I owed it to us. The us that loved each other like our life depended on it. The us that laughed all the… Continue reading Decision
Under water
it's like drowning with sorrow oh, such a heavy sorrow the saltiness of the tears feels like water is invading you the knots in your throat you can't breath anymore the pressure in your chest such as tons of water crushing you in the dark
Darkness
everything is dark, except for a small light inside me i can feel the long fingers of darkness revolving around the light lurking, waiting, for a chance to invade it's becoming exhausting, trying to feed the light, trying to make it stronger I'm tired will darkness win?
Alma
do you believe we have souls? do you think soul mates exist? I never know what to think we should believe in what we feelmost times I don't even know what I feel I need to learn to know but there's one feeling i know I haveI'm sure if soul mates existYou are mine
Us & I
oh, how it hurts the thought of breaking how it hurts to think about an "us" being lost and an "I" being found why can't we have both? i want to want both is it too late? to be "I"s inside of "us" ?
Easier
i try to be okay i try to be fine but it's not that easy when you're on my mind you'd think it's a bad thing and you'd be wrong it's not that easy because love is hard i don't wish it was easy easy means nothing and a world with nothing is a world… Continue reading Easier
Differences
Have you ever thought about how different the people around you really are? Today I've come to realize that most of the closest people around me have qualities that I thought I didn't like in other people. It's crazy to me. How magnetic it is. How the qualities I hate come hand in hand with… Continue reading Differences
No North
There comes a point in your life where there's all this pressure to decide what you want to do or who you want to be. I'm guessing it's something everyone goes through, isn't it? It's so hard. To think you need to live up to some crazy expectation. The craziest part is, for some of… Continue reading No North
Confused
Can something become harder and easier at the same time? Is it even possible? Are our hearts tougher? Or is our love weaker? How can it be? That every time we say goodbye it aches more and less? Are we doing things right? Are we going the wrong way? How can we tell? Should we… Continue reading Confused
Sol
i can feel the sun even with my eyes closed i can hear the ocean even with my eyes closed i know exactly where I am
On the sand
today we sat we sat on the warm sand always warm, the sand even when everything else is cold I rest my head on your shoulder, like the first time. And we watched as the sun and the ocean were getting closer to each other. We hadn't in a long time. I missed that feeling.… Continue reading On the sand
Pain
it's sunny outside, which is weird it's only clouds this time of the yeari miss the sunrays on my skin but everything just hurts, too muchi try to get myself out there but it hurts to move i want to be outside now but I don't want to feel pain, more
Time
Today was a bitter sweet day. On the one hand I went to a place filled with great memories from my childhood. And on the other, I could see how time had flown by me in a matter of seconds. It's crazy how times passes. How everything changes so quickly, and yet so slowly. Years… Continue reading Time
The old man and the pirate’s hut
It had been months since I had seen anybody. Silence was my normal. I used to talk to myself a lot in the beginning, but it got old over time. Why talk when nobody's listening? I was drinking coffee at my kitchen table, always set for one, when I heard them. At first I thought… Continue reading The old man and the pirate’s hut
Winter
I miss invierno. For most it's cold and quiet. It makes people want to stay home. Drink warm drinks and bury yourself in a dozen blankets. My winter is not like that. My invierno is warm and full of laughter. It's sunny days and the bluest ocean. It's the sight of bright green everywhere you… Continue reading Winter
Azul
my favorite color is blue not the blue of the sky or the blue of the sea but the blue of them both together, as you and me
I wish
everyday I sit in the warm sand to watch the sunset everyday my eyes hurt from staring at the sun everyday I watch until it's gone so I can wish you to be with me
Océano
I already told you about my home didn't I? But I didn't really write what I wanted to write. What I want is to tell you about the ocean. The ocean has always played a huge part in my life. It's weird isn't it? How can a body of water play any part on somebody's… Continue reading Océano
Reality
Life is unexpected. It really changes without notice. It's funny though. How we plan and plan, how we have everything calculated and how it doesn't really matter. No matter how much we plan, we never know what's going to happen. I started this blog with a very clear idea in mind. I thought I was… Continue reading Reality
Back to myself 