I am tired. I am tired of taking shit. I am tired of repressing my feelings for the sake of other people. Why can others tell me whatever they want without the minimal thought behind, but I have to control myself just because I can? Why do other people have the right to apologize? The… Continue reading Repressed anger
Category: Writings
Reminiscent
I missed you. I still do. Not just you, but me. I missed it all. I spent months thinking about it. Imagining what I needed to do to bring it back. And then I got slapped in the face. A car dropped on top of me. A train ran me over. All at once. Because… Continue reading Reminiscent
Late nights
Aren’t repressed feelings kinda funny? Funny in that heart wrenching way that makes you laugh at how painfully ironic life is. Ah my dear feelings, the ones I spent years trying to acknowledge so I wouldn’t fall prey to the symptoms of your mind trying to protect you. They always come back to explode in… Continue reading Late nights
Frozen memories
It’s funny how pictures work isn’t it? You freeze a moment in time, with all it brought you. The feelings, they all stay there, in that moment. And then you start to forget. All of it. It starts to slip your mind, slowly. One day you wake up and you don’t even realize you’ve long… Continue reading Frozen memories
My search, pt. 7
I did the only thing I could do. I started walking on the beach. It had to lead somewhere, right? I must have walked for months. I would sleep on the beach, I figured I would bury myself in the warm sand a little bit, to escape the cold, but it never came for me.… Continue reading My search, pt. 7
Trying is enough
So, I wanted to tell you a little about the last couple of weeks and why I haven't been posting my usual three to four posts a day. First of all, I've been moving a lot. My suitcase hasn't had much of a break. I guess this was kind of a taste of how living… Continue reading Trying is enough
My search, pt. 6
Was it? Was it worth it for me? What was really waiting for me on the other side? Such grave pain. I had clearly been in a horrible accident. Who knows what was waiting for me. I tried to think very, very hard. Would he be waiting for me? I sat with my knees close… Continue reading My search, pt. 6
There’s no tomorrow
Life is so short. Why waste time making plans? Really think about it. We can't plan for every single possible scenario, and even if we could, it would be so much work, we would be done way after the date we're planning for. So, why do it? The only thing we know for sure, is… Continue reading There’s no tomorrow
My search, pt. 5
That’s when it hit me, he was waiting for us. He was as lonely as I was, maybe even more. I started crying. A horrible flash blinded me and I saw myself laying on the ground. There was blood everywhere. Glass. Screaming. My grandfather’s hand on my shoulder brought me back. – What? What did… Continue reading My search, pt. 5
My search, pt. 4
Suddenly, I realized I couldn’t remember what had happened before I got to the beach. I remembered the pain, I remember the feeling of loneliness washing over me, but I couldn’t quite place why I felt that way. – How did I get here? – – How could I know that? – He answered me.… Continue reading My search, pt. 4
My search, pt. 3
I just stared at him thinking about what I had said that was so funny. He had died so long ago. Did I imagine that? Had that not really happened? What was really going on? He stopped laughing and looked at me with a little bit of pity. – Honey, I didn’t come to see… Continue reading My search, pt. 3
My search, pt. 2
I woke up because I heard laughing. Such familiar sound, but I couldn't place it anymore. I opened my eyes, scared of what I would see before me. When I saw him, I felt nothing but relief. I wasn't alone anymore. I sat down in complete awe of what was happening. He gently grabbed my… Continue reading My search, pt. 2
My search, pt. 1
The gold rays of sunshine were not able to find everything, you could see them scrambling to fill every nook around, never being able to. You could hear the cicadas buzzing all around you. Like a symphony that announced the darkness of the night was soon to come. The colors that were painted in the… Continue reading My search, pt. 1
Reality
Life is unexpected. It really changes without notice. It's funny though. How we plan and plan, how we have everything calculated and how it doesn't really matter. No matter how much we plan, we never know what's going to happen. I started this blog with a very clear idea in mind. I thought I was… Continue reading Reality
Back to myself 