I am tired. I am tired of taking shit. I am tired of repressing my feelings for the sake of other people. Why can others tell me whatever they want without the minimal thought behind, but I have to control myself just because I can? Why do other people have the right to apologize? The… Continue reading Repressed anger
Author: Mikki Hood
Growing up I got to see the world through more than one window, in time I found I couldn’t go back to just the one. I fell in love with the many ways things are perceived. I just want to put some of them out there.
I heard around the internet that traveling is dangerous that you never feel at home after because a little piece of your heart and a little side of your soul with that version of yourself they stay right there frozen in time and place
found
I woke up today miles away from my home the place that watched me grow the one constant in a world of change and yet I’ve never felt more like myself
untitled
whatever we felt was left in the past being real but not existing weighing down but not existing slicing my heart but not existing pulsating with life but not existing you don’t exist you aren’t real yet you love me still like when you were yet I love you still like when you were yet… Continue reading untitled
Reminiscent
I missed you. I still do. Not just you, but me. I missed it all. I spent months thinking about it. Imagining what I needed to do to bring it back. And then I got slapped in the face. A car dropped on top of me. A train ran me over. All at once. Because… Continue reading Reminiscent
your song
do you think about me? do you blame me sometimes? do you feel free? I did... oftentimes I heard your song on the radio and I felt so happy weird really... the smile on my face don't you think of me? I wonder where you're at who are you with? and do you think of… Continue reading your song
Late nights
Aren’t repressed feelings kinda funny? Funny in that heart wrenching way that makes you laugh at how painfully ironic life is. Ah my dear feelings, the ones I spent years trying to acknowledge so I wouldn’t fall prey to the symptoms of your mind trying to protect you. They always come back to explode in… Continue reading Late nights
Frozen memories
It’s funny how pictures work isn’t it? You freeze a moment in time, with all it brought you. The feelings, they all stay there, in that moment. And then you start to forget. All of it. It starts to slip your mind, slowly. One day you wake up and you don’t even realize you’ve long… Continue reading Frozen memories
Eyes made of ice
everything white around me as quiet as it can be it simply feels right not meant to flee out of nowhere he came he smiled and laughed like an impish picture frame from another time photographed he held out his hand and nodded to come to take me away to a magic land of his… Continue reading Eyes made of ice
Stormy horizon
there was once a time when you offered your soul once upon a time you gave me your all and it was beautiful it was gorgeous and true like the silence before the storm I was strong and confident and I abandoned my norm you better believe I gave it my all but the storm… Continue reading Stormy horizon
Disguise
he’s a jokester, he’s a con whatever you ask for is what you’ll eventually get except you won’t want it, anymore he’ll break out all the strings he plays by his rules and when he gives you what you wished for he will make sure you know he’s the boss and it’s done for
Disguised
he’s a jokester, he’s a con whatever you ask for is what you’ll eventually get except you won’t want it, anymore he’ll break out all the strings he plays by his rules and when he gives you what you wished for he will make sure you know he’s the boss and it’s done for
Disguised devil
he’s a jokester, he’s a con whatever you ask for is what you’ll eventually get except you won’t want it, anymore he’ll break out all the strings he plays by his rules and when he gives you what you wished for he will make sure you know he’s the boss and it’s done for
Disguised devil
he’s a jokester, he’s a con whatever you ask for is what you’ll eventually get except you won’t want it, anymore he’ll break out all the strings he plays by his rules and when he gives you what you wished for he will make sure you know he’s the boss and it’s done for
Senseless creatures
staring away from my bedroom window I can see it all go by from right there the people, the colors, the days spending time hipnotized by the rare I imagine what’s behind all the masks flying by all that the creatures feel, all they desire such placid faces, as if all is well inside but… Continue reading Senseless creatures
Droplets
you can feel it in the air before it dears to come you can smell it from afar it all becomes glum it smells like a spring night it sounds like poverty you know when it's coming because you feel your liberty
Places
there's a little juice place on the way back home you always sat there to wait to be there for your son I sometimes go there I sit where you sat I see the people pass by I can almost here you chat I miss you dearly my second father, my love and when in… Continue reading Places
Luna
follow the illuminated trail in the light of night a shadow follows close by from a moon shining bright the full moon brings good news for you and me, for all to be it comes with gifts of joy and peace which little was left before for me I'll wait at the end of the… Continue reading Luna
Farewell
Shiny
there's a moment in the day when the sun is at its brightest it reflects of the ocean like a mirror that is blinding but you don't really mind it because it's still beautiful it hurts to look at it yet there's no looking away right then and there, you know that you go through… Continue reading Shiny
Familia
no snow, nothing white all is blue, all is nice it's warm outside and nothing's bright waking up to smiles and joy everybody's working for tonight the ones that we lost come back for the night to see us laugh and eat for there's no Christmas here if not for my family
El ayer
when it's cloudy outside it all becomes one the floating above the stay underneath no two or three nor you or me tomorrow is inexistent yesterday is not matter the wind is the only the only one that can be it's cloudy outside it all becomes one yet birds don't mind their freedom, intact their… Continue reading El ayer
Sangre
It dripples down my skin following a careful path a trace made by chaos a true psychopath a piece inside all of us only listens to the wrath nothing else can stop it making its way to the bloodbath
Cortante
tear it apart rip it out the death in me that's what it's about make it stop there's nothing more to give, to hold no one to adore only one way I see out of the horror inside me so I shall take it and run turn around, flee
A knife
rip it out rip it out the death in me that’s what it’s about make it stop there’s nothing more to give, to hold no one to adore only one way I see out of the horror in me so I shall take it and run don’t look back, flee
Casa
the bluest skies a dreamer's vibes in the sea you'll find all your life redesigned the soul in the waves your sun misbehaves everything you need your worries emptied
Murdered
we took what we needed learned how to fear now we know how to lose for us, everything dear the longest journey a slower death you killed me in pieces you stole my breath it felt like my duty to hurt, to pain for a stupid mistake to always restrain a soul was murdered the… Continue reading Murdered
My search, pt. 7
I did the only thing I could do. I started walking on the beach. It had to lead somewhere, right? I must have walked for months. I would sleep on the beach, I figured I would bury myself in the warm sand a little bit, to escape the cold, but it never came for me.… Continue reading My search, pt. 7
Riding love
A hell of a ride That’s what it is Heaven on earth Does nothing but amaze Crazy How long you’re fooled No more, no less By God, overruled Thrown into hell how can it be? Heal, just heal For you, for me
Trampled
It’s like a roller coaster isn’t it? It’s fine one day. Everything seems, good. Nothing to be afraid of. And then, suddenly, it isn’t. From out of nowhere, it tramples you down like a hundred thousand people running towards happiness. And you’re left there, laying on the ground, everything broken. And it seems for a… Continue reading Trampled
Trying is enough
So, I wanted to tell you a little about the last couple of weeks and why I haven't been posting my usual three to four posts a day. First of all, I've been moving a lot. My suitcase hasn't had much of a break. I guess this was kind of a taste of how living… Continue reading Trying is enough
Pulling away
the pain of leaving is like no other pull away, pull apart our bond, from one another it took everything I had and I still didn't win i gave my heart and soul and it still teared my skin out on the open with nothing to give not to anyone, not to myself and so… Continue reading Pulling away
Grey
grey are the clouds grey is the sea all the colors left there's nothing around me so hard to see so painful to watch and now I can say next time you have colors let them be
Choice
choices oh, choices so hard to make such pain they bring you pay the price you brake inside
Merciless
I can feel their eyes in every cranny, in every nook a million bright lights every part of me it took we're all out here alone, all to stand witness no one, to hold cautious we must be show no controversy in your journey or your fall you shall get no mercy not from them,… Continue reading Merciless
The loss in me
I lost you so long ago I watched you slip away now I can't help but dream about the past, cliche the one who protected me against all evil and cruel the one who loved me like his precious jewel you taught me to be brave to fight for what I want you told me… Continue reading The loss in me
Rose gold
the sun's golden droplets the cloud's pink brush strokes it all feels like home all my dreams, it evokes it takes me back to my warm sand where I used to contemplate the waves, the sun, the unplanned my favorite mirror with pink and gold always dragging, always slow i never get tired, it never… Continue reading Rose gold
Brisa
i close my eyes and i hear the chimes the soft whistle of our winter breeze my skin curls crying out for you it's peaceful all around i can finally breathe and i can tell you once and for all how i really feel
My search, pt. 6
Was it? Was it worth it for me? What was really waiting for me on the other side? Such grave pain. I had clearly been in a horrible accident. Who knows what was waiting for me. I tried to think very, very hard. Would he be waiting for me? I sat with my knees close… Continue reading My search, pt. 6
There’s no tomorrow
Life is so short. Why waste time making plans? Really think about it. We can't plan for every single possible scenario, and even if we could, it would be so much work, we would be done way after the date we're planning for. So, why do it? The only thing we know for sure, is… Continue reading There’s no tomorrow
Abrazo
your arms around me holding me, taking me keeping me safe keeping me loved you kissed my forehead the way I always loved if only, if only I hadn't woken up
Fear of the new
I've always wanted to travel alone, it's been a dream of mine since forever. I have never even though I've always wanted to, but to be honest, I'm scared. The world is a dangerous place for a women travelling alone, and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle the safety issue. I haven't really… Continue reading Fear of the new
Secreto
the ruffled white sheets our black clothes scattered the lipstick stain on the pillow only we know the secrets of our bedroom floor what will we do when we're out in the open with no walls to hide us?
The two sides of travelling
And so, I bought a ticket. I'm leaving my home in less than two months, to live somewhere else, indefinitely, so I can truly pursue my dream of writing and travelling for a living. Boy, it's a weird feeling. This is not the first time I'm moving, so I know how fun it can be,… Continue reading The two sides of travelling
frío
we went through it, ignoring all the signs, all the warnings we plowed through, with no consideration and now we're left, inconsolable it hit us deep, it hit us hard like strapped to the track waiting for a merciless machine the one we loved riding to tear us deep, to tear us, apart
strange, stranger
such a strange thing, the human mind when we love, we push away when hurt, we run towards the pain such a silly thing, our hearts why do we do this? could we even stop? such a strange, silly thing us humans tiny and weak, no sense, no more
the one, the sea
always wearing shades of blue forever singing lullabies to me the only one who's ever lasted the one and only unconditional your children's songs, so calming your mother's wrath, so powerful we shall all fear and respect your beating heart, so beautiful so much brightness, you shine it blinds and mesmerizes us so much strength,… Continue reading the one, the sea
Duro
as hard as life is I want to live it as tough as steele I want to break it no matter how I want to fly it
your arms
so safe between them such warmth they give me the smell of love, so intoxicating the feeling inside, so beautiful and so, please hold me until the we part, until the day we die
My search, pt. 5
That’s when it hit me, he was waiting for us. He was as lonely as I was, maybe even more. I started crying. A horrible flash blinded me and I saw myself laying on the ground. There was blood everywhere. Glass. Screaming. My grandfather’s hand on my shoulder brought me back. – What? What did… Continue reading My search, pt. 5
Turning tables
they won't stop spinning they laugh at our expense they see us, never waiting and they make us regret you're always told it will happen you're always told don't forget that the tables always turn always spinning, always regret
The distance
distance is peaceful and distance is safe I can't always tell if it's better this way so tell me God oh tell me lord what I should do to stop feeling this way
Volar
escape the numbness by getting in a haze i want to fly, i want to break free i want to stop living in a maze can you please, tell me the answer? won't you tell me how so many years went by with me looking at others, fly?
Joke
my life is a joke, and I'll tell you why we want to, but we can't and when we spend time we start to think we can that is until something happens an annoyance, the pressure and we know, for sure no matter how strong our love is right now, all we can do is… Continue reading Joke
Winter
being with you is like winter the loud sun making soft noise the waves, they go back but always come forth the silent sound all around you it's peaceful and safe winter i love, winter i want but you can't choose when it comes you can just wait, and wait for one day, you'll live… Continue reading Winter
A wall
there's a thin wall around me nobody can see, nobody can sense it and no one can get to me nobody can get to me and I don't know what to do, what to say to make this wall go far, far away
Mañana
I bought a ticket today a ticket to a new me to travel and see to learn to be new and exciting followed by pain and sorrow who will I be today, and tomorrow? behind every laugh under every smile is a scared little girl that walks alone looking back every mile
Useless
life is hard, life is pain in it reigns chaos it is beauty, it is ugly it's black and it's white and neither at the same time you never know what you get until it's too late to change it you never know where to go until it's too late to come back you never… Continue reading Useless
My search, pt. 4
Suddenly, I realized I couldn’t remember what had happened before I got to the beach. I remembered the pain, I remember the feeling of loneliness washing over me, but I couldn’t quite place why I felt that way. – How did I get here? – – How could I know that? – He answered me.… Continue reading My search, pt. 4
limbo
stuck on the limbo it's not right but it's not wrong it just is what it is and we can do nothing about it it just is what it is so let's just enjoy it
Wake up
your arms around me the softness of your skin the deep state we are in i missed it all too bad it's for now too bad it can't last because this is what I want it's sad it can't be mine
A forever battle
my heart fills with joy at the sight of us together just as my mind fills with worry at the thought of us parting an endless war between brain and soul an endless battle where no victor is crowned
How?
how can I feel happy? when you're crying next to me how can we be okay? when our hearts are aching
Unavoidable
love is strange love is cruel you can't avoid it's claws it will pull you in and you'll never know until it's gone love is strange love is cruel it's an unavoidable truth
words, lost
what can I say? i lost my words my will to stay the things we did the path we came to became too hard to handle too tough to be left
Trying
trying and trying we never stop trying and the day we do is the day we're dying that's what you do you always fight and you can never give up you have to keep getting up
My search, pt. 3
I just stared at him thinking about what I had said that was so funny. He had died so long ago. Did I imagine that? Had that not really happened? What was really going on? He stopped laughing and looked at me with a little bit of pity. – Honey, I didn’t come to see… Continue reading My search, pt. 3
Mess
it's all so messed upeverything entangledall of it holding onthey can't let go they mess with our headkeeping it muddythey can't let us dothey won't let us sing
Mistakes
you never know where everything went wrong you can never see it coming nor can you do anything to stop it life will always laugh at you at the fact that the only thing you can do is regret it, forever you can try to forgive you can try to fix it and you will… Continue reading Mistakes
Forgiveness
I'm used to forgiving. It doesn't come hard to me. I never hold grudges, I like letting go. I forgave everything you did, on the spot. It hardly took much effort, making me forgive you. And in all that forgiveness I threw around, carelessly, like nothing mattered. I forgot to forgive myself. For every excuse… Continue reading Forgiveness
My search, pt. 2
I woke up because I heard laughing. Such familiar sound, but I couldn't place it anymore. I opened my eyes, scared of what I would see before me. When I saw him, I felt nothing but relief. I wasn't alone anymore. I sat down in complete awe of what was happening. He gently grabbed my… Continue reading My search, pt. 2
Tried
Have you ever tried to breathe, when everything is falling apart? You forget. Have you ever tried to think, when all your thoughts are screaming? You can't. Have you ever tried to move on, when all you want to do is go back? You fail. Life is tough, it shows no mercy, when it's time… Continue reading Tried
Haze
I don't know, i can't what to think, what to say everything is so hazy so sad, these days I'm being told one thing i hear another and I won't listen not again, I'm smothered i don't know what to do where to go what to scream i don't, know
Travelling heart
As you probably guessed by my recent posts, I'm heart broken. I recently had to choose between my mental health and the love of my life. And boy, it's been tough. The hardest part has been realizing what went wrong, after, when it's just too late to do anything about it. The only thing that… Continue reading Travelling heart
My search, pt. 1
The gold rays of sunshine were not able to find everything, you could see them scrambling to fill every nook around, never being able to. You could hear the cicadas buzzing all around you. Like a symphony that announced the darkness of the night was soon to come. The colors that were painted in the… Continue reading My search, pt. 1
Soñando
my eyes are closing and I start to fall does it ever end? will I ever touch the ground? and when I do, will I ever know? i see things i hear things but they're not real wait, am i?
Next chapter
First all I'd like to say thank you to everyone who reads me, I never imagined so many people would like what I write, and it really feels amazing! Secondly, I just wanted to say that I'm working on a longer piece, trying to put a story together that is going to be a bit… Continue reading Next chapter
falling
as quick as it comes as slow as it goes and you never know when it's you for who it comes colors made brighter the world made peaceful so quickly, everything made better and so slowly, everything so painful
Roto
when routine stops it stops it breaks life, stops being life everything changes nothing feels real and yet everything is you're always wondering never certain what can you do? what can I?
Think, think
they become muddy they can't seem to just be they refuse to stay still it's hard to think when your thoughts don't want to be why do we always, always need to be thinking?
Contradiction
it feels empty and yet, full with pain it stops beating and yet, it can never stop i can't cry nor can i stop crying i can't feel nor can i stop feeling so how do I make it stop if it hasn't begun? and how can I have it when i can't make it… Continue reading Contradiction
Heart break
you always forget after all the pain the salty tears the lonely days the time it takes after all, it fades away and you think you've grown you think you're done you paid your dues and so, you're never ready when it's time once more you fall in love and as clear as day you… Continue reading Heart break
loneliness
loneliness never calls it never rings it never asks in only arrives loneliness is never coming you can't know until she's your friend until she's gone as quickly as it comes as quickly it goes and just as sudden someday she'll be back for you, and you alone
Siren
your call resembles a siren i can hear it when i'm dreaming i can feel it, even when it's quiet your call resembles a siren but nobody else can hear it it's only me, only me it is because i'm the one listening? or because you only sign for me?
Llamado
the lights are blinding the laughter is deafening I can feel my heart pounding while everyone is dancing I try to empty my mind to match my empty soul and I try so hard, so hard but then, I hear you call when you're calling, I must simply go and as i near you, my… Continue reading Llamado
20/11/2020
Today was the first day that I was too busy to post anything. Which I hardly think is a bad thing, considering everything. I recently had to make the hardest choice of my life, putting my mental health before the person I love the most in the world. As most of you can tell just… Continue reading 20/11/2020
Para ti
I know you think you lost me you feel me slipping away but how can you feel something that's not real? because what you make me feel is stronger than a hurricane is taller than the sky is deeper than any ocean and feeling it makes me cry my happy tears turned to sad my… Continue reading Para ti
Run
sometimes all you want to do is run run away to some far place where are people are nice and nobody knows you where you don't have to be you and your story can be whatever you want it to be so you can run away from yourself
Who you are
try to remember who you are try to remember where you come from try to look up at the sky and see the future before you you were once stronger you could move mountains you were once wiser you could see further try to be who you once were and more
Weakness
to love the sea but not know how to swim to love the sky but be afraid of falling it hurts to have to walk away with pain in your soul to leave your dreams because you don't have what it takes it hurts I wonder what's worse the pain from leaving or the pain… Continue reading Weakness
Struck
it hits like a train going at full speed it comes out of nowhere you can't see it coming and just like that, you're left there laying in the ground, badly hurt you can't move, you can't breathe in a slow pain you try to stand up you start to breathe again you never know… Continue reading Struck
Decision
I couldn't bare it. I wasn't strong enough. I wish I was. I couldn't stand the idea of waiting until we grew sick of each other. I couldn't do that to us. I owed it to us. The us that loved each other like our life depended on it. The us that laughed all the… Continue reading Decision
Staring eyes
I could feel the empty stares of the people around me. I knew they weren't even aware that they were staring at me. But it still made me nervous. Could anyone tell? I thought it was impossible for anybody to tell, but it's always easier to imagine a situation than to live it. I could… Continue reading Staring eyes
Under water
it's like drowning with sorrow oh, such a heavy sorrow the saltiness of the tears feels like water is invading you the knots in your throat you can't breath anymore the pressure in your chest such as tons of water crushing you in the dark
Darkness
everything is dark, except for a small light inside me i can feel the long fingers of darkness revolving around the light lurking, waiting, for a chance to invade it's becoming exhausting, trying to feed the light, trying to make it stronger I'm tired will darkness win?
Alma
do you believe we have souls? do you think soul mates exist? I never know what to think we should believe in what we feelmost times I don't even know what I feel I need to learn to know but there's one feeling i know I haveI'm sure if soul mates existYou are mine
Us & I
oh, how it hurts the thought of breaking how it hurts to think about an "us" being lost and an "I" being found why can't we have both? i want to want both is it too late? to be "I"s inside of "us" ?
Easier
i try to be okay i try to be fine but it's not that easy when you're on my mind you'd think it's a bad thing and you'd be wrong it's not that easy because love is hard i don't wish it was easy easy means nothing and a world with nothing is a world… Continue reading Easier
Differences
Have you ever thought about how different the people around you really are? Today I've come to realize that most of the closest people around me have qualities that I thought I didn't like in other people. It's crazy to me. How magnetic it is. How the qualities I hate come hand in hand with… Continue reading Differences
No North
There comes a point in your life where there's all this pressure to decide what you want to do or who you want to be. I'm guessing it's something everyone goes through, isn't it? It's so hard. To think you need to live up to some crazy expectation. The craziest part is, for some of… Continue reading No North
Back to myself 