Was it? Was it worth it for me? What was really waiting for me on the other side? Such grave pain. I had clearly been in a horrible accident. Who knows what was waiting for me. I tried to think very, very hard. Would he be waiting for me? I sat with my knees close to my body, trying to comfort myself. My grandfather stood up and smiled at me.
– It’s time for you to go honey –
– Go? I thought I had to choose before going back – I said puzzled.
– You’re not going back yet, you have to find your answer, and you won’t find it here. If you stay here, you won’t be able to go back at all – I threw myself at him crying, I hugged him so hard I could feel him struggling to keep himself up. It had been so long since I had felt the safety of his arms.
– I want to stay here. I can’t choose. I’m not strong enough to be alone. – I felt like I was six years old again. So vulnerable, so afraid.
– I know; you’ll be able to come back to wait with me if you choose to. But it’s too early for that. –He smiled at me and wiped my tears away, he kissed my forehead while I closed my eyes. – I’ll be waiting for you, whatever you choose – When I opened them, he was gone. I was alone. Such a familiar feeling. I wondered what was going on my life for me to feel so used to this horrible feeling.
What was I to do now? I had no idea where to even start. Leave it to the most indecisive person in this universe to choose whether I wanted to live in pain or die in peace.
Back to myself 